Revenge of the office nerds

You’re walking along your way to work, today you’ve decided to jazz it up with some funky boots matched with clean cuts and swanzi patterned layers. You’re hot, you’re strutting, that outfit costs a chunk of one of your fortnightly pays. This is when you feel at your best, equipped for anything. All of a sudden approaches the office dweeb. That cockroach who just has to get in your way, you stumble, this isn’t suppose to be happening, you’re a BMW not a jeep, built for appreciation and excellence not for functionality. Is this not obvious? “Hey what’s up?”. You toad, get lost, everything about you annoys me, those stupid small sunnies, that ridiculous buzz shave hair cut, you who wears the same thing everyday, or do you just have five versions of that stupid boring blue shirt?

A bad acquaintance is as bad as a badly chosen accessory, it ruins the entire ensemble. He has wrecked you’re entire image and you’re deflated.

I am writing to you all from the bubble of public servitude, that’s right, Canberra, city of hope (as one person told me) or as I prefer to call: Nerd Nation. Canberra is haunted by nerds, like a plague, they invade every decent person’s sphere. If you’re not careful you’ll find yourself in their company, or invited to a gathering/party/orgy. (YUCK)

I have had to come up with some measures to deflect nerds, as the situation has become that dire.
1) Do not reply to emails, this is a great way to say “hey, I don’t even register you exist”
2) When you see them approaching turn your IPOD up, adorn your sunnies and walk fast. Alternatively talk to another guy, this is an open statement to say “I can do better”. This also has the benefit of meeting new people.
3) Make sure to avoid handing out your mobile number, unfortunately alcohol can impede on this guideline.
4) and finally if all else fails the old “Look I don’t like you at all and I never will” is a good way to go. Be warned this can backfire as it can sometimes turn those dweebs on.

How do you avoid nerds in Canberra? guard yourself and take no shit! Making up a boyfriend in Sydney is all well and good but you shouldn’t have to lie about the fact that your, let’s face it, too good for them.